Jeff

Respect Not Pity

"I'm sorry". That was the response from a co-worker recently when she found out I was going to Iraq. It felt wrong somehow, though I couldn't put my finger on it. After all, she was expressing her support and sympathy, in particular because she was a mother of young children and was concerned for Jenny and the boys. I thanked her for the sentiment and we chatted for a while. But afterward, her choice of words still felt odd when I recalled them.

Yesterday I read a Wall Street Journal editorial called "Modern Heroes" by Robert Kaplan. In it he laments the treatment of servicemembers by the media today, particularly that more attention isn't given to the genuine heroes in our ranks rather than the scandals created by a few. I've seen similar pieces before, and though I agree in principal that it would be nice to read more about the good we do, I accept the reality of the modern media's pressure to produce what sells. And what sells is blood, sex, and scandal, not new schools or courage under fire.

Then I read this statement: "The sad and often unspoken truth of the matter is this: Americans have been conditioned less to understand Iraq's complex military reality than to feel sorry for those who are part of it."

And it hit me... in fact I may have hit myself, because my forehead felt like it had been smacked: my co-worker felt sorry for me! She, and many of the people I've talked to since I found out I'm deploying, think I'm a victim of this war. Even worse, I've been letting them think that by allowing comments like "I'm sorry" to go by unchallenged. That stops now.

To all who are reading this: Servicemembers want nothing more than your gratitude and respect. We are volunteers who are answering the call of our elected civilian leaders. Politics and popularity are irrelevant at our level. We have a job to do and we're going to do it. If you want to show your appreciation shovel our driveways or watch our kids so our spouses can get a moment of well-earned peace.

But save your pity.